Standing before God

"When I stand before God at the end of my life" I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left and could say " I used everything you gave me.

Author: Erma Bombeck

Erma liked books before she could read them. When she was 10 years old she wanted to write stories for the school newspaper. At age 13 she wrote funny columns for the school newspaper, two years later she began working for the Dayton Herold. Shirley Temple Visited Dayton, Ohio and Erma interviewed her and it was one of the article in the newspaper

In 1965 her article went national and she became a well known writer. In 1985 her three columns were published in the US and Canada by 900 newspapers.

When Erma was only 20 years old in 1947, she had a hereditary disorder called polycystic kidney disease. Knowing she could have kidney failure never stopped her from having a successful life. Erma had a mastectomy in 1991 when she had breast cancer, within two years she had to start kidny dialysis from home four times a day. She received a kidney transplant on April 4, 1996 and on April 22,1996 Erma passed away due to complications from the kidney transplant. With all of her writing talents she did not have a single bit of talent left. She had used everything God had given her.

This quote makes a very good remark and applies to everyone. I want to be able in my life to continue using all of my abilities and talents I have learned over the years of my life to apply them to everything I do whether it be at work, church, or anywhere else I might be during the rest of my life.

Peace and Serenity

"May today there be peace within"

-Mother Teresa

With all of the stress at this point in my life, I have to learn how to be calm and collected in the craziest of circumstances. "May today there be peace within" is one quote that constantly hits a nerve with me because I try so hard to avoid stress. This quote reminds me that I cannot go through life stressing over the little things. I am slowly learning that if I stress like this, that it does not help. I was recently diagnosed with an ulcer in my upper GI tract; the primary cause of this is stress! I obviously have to learn things the hard way. I am learning that if I can continually remember this quote I will eventually learn that by keeping myself calm and peaceful inside as well as outside my ailments will eventually heal themselves.

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Mother Teresa was known for all of the good that she had done in her religion. Although she put on a facade of a very devout religious woman, what most people don't realize was that she was human (like everyone else in the world), she frequently had doubts of her religion. In fact, she quit praying and even doubted that Jesus and God existed. Unfortunately, she died with these doubts that she suffered from. Like Mother Teresa, I too have doubts about things in my life. I doubt myself, thus, making more stress about what people around me are thinking. I believe that if Mother Teresa could listen to the words that she spoke and listened to what her heart said she wouldn't have died with those doubts.

I think that if Mother Teresa could speak words that move people even today, and help those people get through their hard times, then I'm sure she found the answers to her doubts and unanswered questions. Her words are powerful as well as meaningful, if people were to think about just this one quote and use it in their own lives the world would be a happier place full of healthier, happier people.

Food for Thought

“If you treat people right they will treat you right-ninety percent of the time.”

Franklin D. Roosevelt

All my life my father has told me to treat others the way you would want them to treat you. My father would always give us this lecture either after my siblings and I would fight or if we were mean to another kid. I have always remembered that lecture in my adult life and tried to live by it, but sometimes have found that it isn’t necessarily true.

Franklin D. Roosevelt was diagnosed with poliomyelitis as a young child. As a result of this disease he was never able to use his legs again. He was our 32nd president, and best known for being elected for four consecutive terms. Sadly, he died in his fourth term. He held the office longer than any other president in history, after he died is when the law passed that the president can only hold office for two consecutive terms. While he was in office, the United States went through the Great Depression, World War II, and the attack on Pearl Harbor. He died the night before the military victory in Europe, and a few months before the victory of Japan. Another interesting fact is that his birthday is a legal holiday in the Virgin Islands.

Through all of the adversities he went through in his presidency and his personal life, he always remained optimistic and well driven to succeed. His quote to me is more accurate than many of the ones my parents told me. I really admire him for not dwelling on what life had thrown at him, but pushing back and becoming successful. To me, he was one of the greatest presidents our country has ever had. He knew that not everyone would treat you better no matter how well you treated them. Although a majority would, there are still small percentages that won’t. It is still a good theory to use in your everyday life, but just be prepared for some people not treat you any better.

Who was he and what did he do?

"Don't walk in front of me, I might not follow: don't walk behind me I might not lead; walk beside me, and just be my friend." Albert Camus

Albert Camus had an intresting life he inspired me to go after my dreams. He was born in Mondovi Algeria he recieved the nobel prize for lituratue in 1957.He first went after his dreams when he first found out he had a talent for writting whick i think is a great and knowledgeable talent. Albert Camus came from a spanish origin and his mother was part deaf due to a stroke. He went to college at the university of algers in philosophy. He then became a leading writer.

He was also involved in theater.He moved to france and was married and then divorced to a wife that was addicted to morphine.He wrote both stories and quotes.By the time he was done writting he had three novels. He was moble until he got TB at this point he had to end his sports career. Which I know from what i read he loved. He got remarried and his new wife played piano and was a mathmatician.

He later founded the frence newspaperhowever he later quit. Albert camus dreamed of running a theater someday and when that day came he died in a car accident at age 46 the manuscript was found in the car when the emergency workers arrived.

Breaking the Chains

" All my devotion betrayed, I am no longer afraid, I was too blinded to see, how much you've stolen from me..."(lyrics from Deify) -David Draiman, lead singer of Disturbed

Addiction has touched many people in one form or another. For a large number of people addiction represents the cocaine habit of their neighbor or the gambling their uncle participates in. For me, addiction was a lifestyle. It wasn't any certain substance but all of them, the escape, the high, a few hours of uninhibited yet guilty pleasure.

These song lyrics have spoken to me for a long time. I devoted my life to not living but existing in a drug induced haze. I was afraid to try because I feared failing. On the reverse side of that, I feared success. By succeeding, I would have to face my life without the buffer that drugs provided. As for being blinded, that's pretty self-explanatory. During my recovery, I have gone through many types of therapy. One thing I have reached out to time and again is music. It has provided me with many things from inspiration to drive, from comfort to relaxation and many times it has served as an outlet for my anger.

Disturbed is one of my favorite musical groups. I've seen them twice in concert. Both times the lead singer David Draiman said, "You are now attending the largest group therapy session of your life!". He had no idea how true that statement really was for me. David Draiman is also the main songwriter for this group whose lyrics have spoken to me for over ten years. It's been said that his life has had a lot of ups and downs, different yet similar to mine.

He was raised in a Jewish family although now claims no specific belief system. He walked away from both his religion and his family in order to sing the music that spoke to him. His grandfather, a holocaust survivor, was displeased by his choice. Before joining the band, David triple-majored in Business Administration, Political Science and Philosophy. He was also seriously thinking of going to law school.

Throughout his musical career David has used his life experiences to draw on for his musical inspiration. One example of this is his production of the groups second album, Believe, in response to his grandfathers death.

Like David, I use my life experiences to fuel my drive and desire for a better life. At one time, I left every belief I had to make a different, and in my case better, life for myself and my young daughter. I'd like to believe that David and I are similar in the fact that we use music as an outlet for our turbulent emotions. I hope to have a better life through clean and sober living, music as therapy, and striving for ever higher goals. With David Draiman producing more music in the future, it's a guarantee I will always have his music as inspiration in my life. We are ALL Disturbed!

Demon or God?

"What, if some day or night a demon were to steal after you into your loneliest loneliness and say to you: "This life as you now live it and have lived it, you will have to live once more and innumerable times more" ... Would you not throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse the demon who spoke thus? Or have you once experienced a tremendous moment when you would have answered him: 'You are a god and never have I heard anything more divine." Nietzsche

Have you ever wondered what a certain moment would be like if you would have done something differently? There have been moments in my life that I have asked myself that very question. As you go through life experiencing different events whether it's good or bad remember that every achievement and every mistake makes you who you are today. Keep in mind that if everyone had a choice of changing the past, even if it's just one moment it would be that "perfect world" we all wonder about. So if you find yourself wondering that very question, remember who you are today and you have become. Would you answer Demon or God?

As a philosopher, Nietzsche was one that questioned Christianity after changing his beliefs from Lutheran to Christianity. He didn't stay a Christian very long before he discredited God altogether.

According to his writings, his childhood was very troublesome but he still managed to get into one of the best boarding schools in Germany called Pforta by sweeping up a scholarship. He managed to during the time he attended this school, he become very successful as a music composer and excelled until he began having migraine headaches. Even after this incident, he went for his assigned military service until he suffered a chest injury.

At this point he left and went to another university called Leipzig. He tried to fit in and tried to make friends but social life for him wasn't working very well and he noticed that his goals in life were so different than those of other students around him. So he decided to join a house of prostitution. Here he ended up contracting syphilis which totaled his body and made him realize this was his life and this condition would assist him in his journey. So at the young age of 24 Nietzsche was given his doctoral degree, just because his professor was so impressed with his writing.

Throughout his life from a very early age, he lived with an illness and suffered greatly mentally and physically however, he had became a very keen and reflective writer. He wrote many pieces during his illness. Aside from having syphilis, he suffered mental break downs. Some passed rumors that he went insane and lost his mind and others though he had a brain disease inherited by his father.

Sadly, at the age of 55, he passed away from a stroke and left the world he never really got to know and understand.

Find Out Who Your Friends Are

"Forgive Your Enemies, but Never Forget Their Names"

John F. Kennedy

Remember you will always have enemies out there and sometimes it will be easy to forgive them for what they have said or done to you, and sometimes it may no be so easy. However, never forget their names because there will always be a part of you that will remember the event. if you look back and think if they were a true friend or just an acquaitnace, they would't have done what they did or said to become an enemy. People who you think are your friends can be your worse enemy. So that's why it's important to remember their names. The quote means to me with friends who stab you in the back, you don't need enemies. So, therefore you will always remember their names. I had a friend that was suppose to be my best friend and went behind my back and went out with my boyfriend. So, therefore I kinda can forgive her for what she did but I will never forger her name.

John F. Kennedy was born on May 29, 1917 in Massachusetts. Kennedy was a strong advocate in social welfare and civil rights legislation. He was not afraid to stand up for what he believed in. Kennedy went on to argue: "No other challenge is more deserving of our effort and energy... Our security may be lost piece by piece, country by country." Under his leadership, America would be willing to: "pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and success of liberty." Even though in the first two years of his presidency everything he brought to congress they had blocked.

Missing the Future

"Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future."

John F. Kennedy

What would life be like if we didn't look to the future? Well, you would dwell on things that happened in the past and present and you would not know what would happen in the future good or bad. We have to accept things and move on with our lives. I have been in the situation where I only thought about what happened in the past and what was currently happening in the present. I didn't think about what my future was to hold. I missed alot of opportunities that my future had held for me at that time. So you have to think about if you want to stay in the past, present or look to the future.

John F. Kennedy definitely looked to the future. Not too long before the United States went into World War II, he joined the U.S. Navy. In 1943 he was on active duty in the Pacific, he was in charge of a boat named "PT 109" which was sunk by the Japanese. Kennedy rescued his crew, while doing so he cause an old back injury to flair up and he contracted malaria. During his illness he wrote a book on biographical studies of American political heroes. The title was "Profiles in Courage" and was published in 1956. It won a Pulitzer Prize for biography in 1957.

Relationship or Companionship?

"You and me, we're in this together now. None of them can stop us now. We will make it through somehow. You and me, even after everything, you're the queen and I'm the king. Nothing else means anything."

- Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails "We're In This Together"

I believe with all my heart that all anyone needs in life is love. Whether is it love for your family, you faith, or your significant other, all you need to be happy is love. When I first heard the industrial metal band, Nine Inch Nails' song "We're In This Together", I felt it described a love that had been tested through time and trial, but had not been broken. I hope that one day I can relate this song to my reality and have a relationship that stays strong through thick and thin. To me, an ideal romantic relationship is one that can withstand whatever is thrown at it, and these lyrics definitely capture that idea. Ironically, this song is not at all about love. It is about two companions who are faced with what seems to be a never ending problem and one of the companions feels as if he can't get through it alone so he becomes very attached to the other. Trent Reznor, the lead singer of Nine Inch Nails, wrote this song inspired by David Bowie's song "Heroes". David Bowie's song has a similar message and similar lyrics. For example, the lyric "You're the queen and I'm the king" is found in both songs. Reznor is also the one and only true member of Nine Inch Nails. He assembles a band to perform the songs he has written and produced.

Everyone's interpretation of songs is different. Every time I hear this song, I will relate it to a perfect love, surviving all of life's tests.

BEAUTY ISN'T EVERYTHING

“It’s a good thing that beauty is only skin deep or I’d be rotten to the core.”
By Phyllis Diller

Is beauty really in the eye of the beholder? For some people they are not comfortable with themselves, even though other people tell them their perceptions of themselves are not true. I am one of those people who is not comfortable with myself.

Phyllis Diller is not one of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, but she is comfortable with herself. She is a comedian known for her stand up comedy act, some supporting roles in movies, voices in cartoons, and guest appearances. She is also known for her wacky hairdo and her prop of a long cigarette holder, even though she has never smoked a cigarette in her life. Before her career in comedy, she studied and played the piano. She still plays the piano for her own enjoyment. Another little tidbit about her was, although she wasn’t easy on the eyes, she once posed for Playboy magazine but the pictures were never printed.

I enjoyed watching the roles she played in some of Bob Hope movies. She played a corky and crazy woman who did not attract many guys but she still went after them. I feel a connection with her because I also like to make people laugh. However, I am definitely not as comfortable with myself as she is. She makes me realize that people who are not as good looking can succeed in life.

Living in The Moment.

"Do not dwell in the past; do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment." Buddha

To enjoy the present seems like an easy concept, but it is one that I have a hard time with. I think several people have issues with this, whether they are day dreaming of the past or worrying about the future, the right now is not being enjoyed for what it is worth.

There is a myth about Buddha's birth, stating that his father called a wise sage named Aista soon after Buddha was born who told him, "If he remains home he will become the wheel-rolling King. If he leaves, he will become the great teacher Buddha." I wonder if Buddha lived by his own quote. He was born a prince of the modern day Nepal around 565 BC and spent most of his childhood in a state of thoughtfullness and sometimes depression. If he was living in the moment maybe he would not have been depressed, but then again maybe the legend of Buddha living several lives before being born into this world to save it is true. That would be a lot to carry on your shoulders.

Though when I think of this quote, I think more along the line of enjoying what you are doing at the present time, than thinking about what you want to be doing, or things that you have already done. I live on a farm and often find my free time filled with chores like making hay, fence building, caring for livestock, or several other things (usually not my first choice of activities). I tell myself that I have a choice, be miserable or be happy. I try to joke around, enjoy the day, and company that I have at the present moment Instead of just goingthrough the motions waiting for the chores to be done. I may need to remind myself a few times on crappy chore days, but I always try to make the best of it. Everyone should try living for what they are doing at the moment, instead of wishing for the time to hurry past. After all, we don't know how much time any of us has left.